Twenty years ago, I thought life as I knew it had ended. My husband had been fighting a mysterious, debilitating illness for two years. Suddenly, we discovered the source was an addiction to prescription medications.

The Breaking Point: A Physician’s Secret Struggle

Wendell was a well-respected physician, besides being a wonderful husband, father, and grandfather. He had served as a leader in our church for decades. But a real illness and a series of shocking losses had awakened a long-buried addiction issue. One we didn’t even know existed.

Two trips to the emergency room, where he nearly died, and a three-week stay at the Mayo Clinic had not uncovered the true problem. No one in that process had run a drug screen or asked Wendell about drug use. He simply didn’t fit the profile.

God, in His kindness, revealed the problem in His way and His time. We were living in the Heartland community at the time, and we couldn’t have been in a better place. Our church, family, friends, and medical team came around us with ferocious faith and practical help.

The Road to Healing: Treatment, Faith, and New Purpose

Wendell spent sixty-two days in a treatment facility recommended by the state wellness organization for physicians. He threw himself into the process and onto the mercy of Jesus. I drove to visit him every two weeks, and together we started the road to recovery. It was such a revelation and brought so much freedom to both of us.

When he came home, Wendell reopened his clinic and submitted to all the requirements of drug testing, counseling, and meetings to maintain his license. Our entire family felt deep, deep gratitude for the healing that was taking place in each of us.

One afternoon in that process, Wendell mentioned something I considered a small issue from my past and suggested I might want to talk to someone about it. I was furious. I wasn’t the one who had resorted to drugs to cover my pain! I had worked that issue out with Jesus long ago.

Fast forward twenty years. We felt the nudge of God to move closer to the majority of our children after the pandemic. With the blessing of our friends, family, and church, we moved to the Omaha area and settled into a new church home called Lifegate.

In the second year of our Nebraska life, Lifegate started a ministry called re:generation, which comes out of Watermark Church in Texas. Wendell and I jumped on board, eager to help other people find the kind of freedom in Christ that we had found through recovery.

I had no idea this journey would take me back to that conversation in the car twenty years before. Wendell was right. I had things buried deeply that God wanted to mend. The first week in re:generation, I wrote in my workbook, “I would just like to wake up hopeful some morning instead of depressed.”

I never expected that prayer to be answered. Depression had been my constant companion for fifty years. I could usually crawl out of it by mid-morning, but I almost always awoke with darkness and dread.

Through the next ten months, God took me on a journey of discovery and healing that brought a freedom I couldn’t imagine. Things I had long buried came to the Light, where Jesus could help and heal. And the darkness fled. Honestly, in the past eighteen months, I can’t remember waking up feeling anything except hopeful. That may seem like a small thing, but to me it is a miracle.

And it turns out I was right all those years ago. When our world fell apart in 2005, the life I knew had ended, because God had a better life ahead.

I’m so grateful.

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Originally from Missouri, the Nickersons were part of Heartland Community Church for twenty years before moving to Nebraska to be near grandchildren. They’ve experienced firsthand how addiction impacts the entire family system. You’ll find Kathy’s session from our 2025 Addiction & The Church seminar linked below, or on our YouTube playlist. Kathy is an author, speaker, and eternal optimist who believes all things do work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28.

Navigating the Lines Between Compassion and Codependency

Emil Moore serves as the Executive Director and Pastor of the Troy Dream Center in Troy, Missouri, where he and his team help men and women find freedom from addiction. The Troy Dream Center is the first and only faith-based recovery center in Lincoln County and for over 50 miles. This article is based on Emil’s presentation on the topic of “Helping the Hurting Without Enabling” during the 2025 Addiction & The Church session where he offered practical guidance on navigating the line between compassion and codependency.

As church leaders, we’re called to serve the hurting and broken in our communities. But when it comes to helping those struggling with addiction and life-controlling issues, many of us find ourselves in uncomfortable territory. How do we show Christ’s love without enabling destructive behavior? How do we maintain healthy boundaries while keeping our doors open?

These questions become even more urgent when we recognize that addiction is often a life-or-death battle. The stakes couldn’t be higher, yet many churches struggle to find the balance between compassion and wisdom in their ministry approach.

The Question That Changes Everything

In John 5, Jesus encounters a man who had been lying helpless for 38 years. Knowing everything about this man’s condition, Jesus asks what seems like an obvious question: “Do you want to get well?”

This question is foundational to helping anyone struggling with addiction or life-controlling issues. It’s compassion-driven, showing that you care about their wellbeing and genuinely want to help. But it also does something else—it places responsibility where it belongs.

Jesus didn’t ask why the man was lying there or assume he was ready for change. He asked a direct question that required an honest answer. As church leaders, we need to follow this model. We must ask questions and have a plan, but we also need to be prepared for an uncomfortable truth: some people don’t want help.

This sounds harsh, but it’s critical to understand. You cannot want to help someone more than they want to help themselves. If they’re not willing to receive help, there’s not much you can do. Change is scary—it disrupts everything familiar, even when that familiarity is painful. We must be sensitive to this reality while also recognizing that we can’t force transformation.

Understanding Codependency: The Silent Killer

When we struggle to accept someone’s rejection of help, we may be dealing with codependency. This is what many call the “silent killer” in ministry contexts. Codependency looks like love at its core, but it can cause tremendous harm.

Codependency is the relentless behavior that causes us to lose ourselves in obsessing over another person, their actions, or their life. It works hard to control, change, or eliminate something far beyond our control. It means unhealthily focusing on others’ needs to feel acceptance and safety while neglecting our own needs and boundaries in an attempt to fix or save them.

The difference between compassion and codependency is crucial:

Compassion is caring deeply about others’ suffering and wanting to help while respecting their independence and your own limits.

Codependency is unhealthily focusing on others’ needs to feel acceptance and safety while neglecting your own needs and boundaries to fix or save them.

Here’s the relief we all need to hear: It’s not our job to fix anyone, and we can’t do it anyway. We can guide and suggest, but we’re not the fixer—Jesus is the fixer.

The Parable of the Sower and Your Ministry Field

The parable of the sower in Matthew 13 provides a helpful framework for understanding our role. The farmer went out and scattered seed across different types of soil. Some fell on the path and was eaten by birds. Some fell on shallow soil and withered quickly. Some fell among thorns and was choked out. But some fell on fertile soil and produced an abundant crop.

What was the farmer doing? Simply sowing seed. He didn’t control where it landed or how it grew. He did his part and trusted the process.

Your church has a ministry field. You have people who come to you or whom you seek to reach. It would be wonderful if everyone you reached fell on fertile soil, but that’s not reality. Your job is simply to sow the seed. You can’t control the outcome, but you can be faithful in your part.

The YES Plan: A Practical Framework

At the Troy Dream Center—the first and only faith-based recovery home in Lincoln County, Missouri—we’ve developed what we call the YES Plan. This plan allows us to respond to people with yes while refusing to participate in their death, dysfunction, or defeat, and while supporting our own health, wellness, and healing.

We’re saying yes to hopeful, helpful, and healthy choices. This ensures we don’t confuse compassion with codependency.

1. Set Boundaries

Boundaries are tough love, and they’re emotionally difficult to establish and maintain. But let’s be clear: tough love is not abandoning, rejecting, shunning, or demeaning anyone. It’s about creating boundaries that help.

Yes, boundaries are painful to enforce. But without boundaries, we get completely out of bounds. Your yes is saying no to their death, dysfunction, and defeat. For them, it’s saying yes to life and real love.

The journey to wellness is never free from pain, emotion, or hard decisions, but it is absolutely possible. Boundaries may not be easy or fun, but they’re guard rails that keep everyone in a safe place.

2. Have a Plan

Unfortunately, relapse happens, and we need to be prepared. You can’t stop anyone from making their own decisions—read that again. You cannot stop anyone from making their own decisions.

This means you need a plan before something emotional happens. Here’s what that looks like:

• Call three residential treatment facilities and learn their intake process so when someone says “yes, I’m ready,” you can take them there immediately.
• Research transitional living options because sometimes someone doesn’t need full residential treatment but does need structured support.
• Identify three outpatient facilities and understand their intake requirements.

Why do this legwork ahead of time? Because we all get emotionally charged when we encounter someone in crisis. When emotions run high, we’re not thinking clearly. Having a plan in your pocket means you’re ready when they’re ready.

3. Establish Homecoming Requirements

When someone completes treatment and wants to return home or you’re advising them on staying well, establish clear expectations:

• Christ-centered commitment to recovery: A church home, Bible study, or other faith-based support
• Recovery meetings: Celebrate Recovery, Recovery Alive, AA, NA, or other support groups
• Physical fitness: Gym membership, cardio, lifting—something to channel energy productively
• Financial stability: Employment is non-negotiable
• Physical wellness: Managing doctor’s appointments, counseling, dental care
• Benefits: Helping them access food stamps, SNAP benefits, or Medicaid if needed
• Personal accountability: No more covering up for their lifestyle, behaviors, or choices

The key here is empowerment, not enabling. You can do the legwork and present options, but they must take ownership of their recovery. This is their life, their recovery, and they need to choose it.

When the Offer Is Rejected

Acts 3:6 tells us that Peter said to the lame beggar, “Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk.”

Peter and John had a plan. They knew what they could do to help, and they offered it without emotional hijacking. This is our model: Ask the question, offer the plan, and accept the response.

Sometimes that response is rejection. I experienced this painfully with a young man in our program who left without notice. When I found him and offered to help, he initially agreed. But as we drove away, he changed his mind. He got out of my car, sat in his own vehicle, and through tears, waved me away.

My heart broke. Every instinct wanted to force him to accept help. But I couldn’t. The boundary was set, the offer was extended, and the offer was rejected.

Here’s what you must remember: If they reject your offer, the Lord is still with them. He’s the fixer. He’s the answer to everything. That young man had encountered Christ, and who am I to think I can outdo what Christ can do?

Moving Forward in Ministry

To help the hurting without enabling, remember two essential things:

1. Ask the question: Do they want to be well?
2. Have a plan: Be prepared before emotions run high.

It may be gut-wrenching to watch someone walk away from the help they need. But you can do this. You have the ability to love people well while maintaining healthy boundaries. Your church can be a place of genuine hope and transformation when you understand the difference between compassion and codependency.

The journey isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Keep fighting the good fight. Keep sowing seed. And trust that God is working even when you can’t see the harvest.

The full series from Addiction & The Church is available on our YouTube channel, or find the link to other resources here on our website.

Brett Scharnhorst is Campus Pastor at Crossing Church 929 in Quincy, Illinois, and also leads a recovery ministry called Re:generation. His life before Jesus was chaos, full of substance abuse, and porn addiction, but today, Brett has peace in his life, has been free from substance abuse for 12 years, and is no longer tempted by pornography. All that gives Brett first-hand experience on his topic of “Creating a Church Culture that Supports Long-Term Recovery” during Heartland Recovery’s 2025 Addiction & The Church event, which is the source for this Recover Out Loud blog post.

“All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be dominated by anything.” — 1 Corinthians 6:12

The Uncomfortable Truth

Here’s something you rarely hear from the pulpit: addiction isn’t just out there in the world. It’s in here—in our churches, in our homes, in our families, and yes, sitting in our pews.

Recent research reveals that many Christians who genuinely love Jesus are battling hidden addictions. And we’re not just talking about the obvious ones like pornography, substance abuse, or alcohol. We’re talking about the socially acceptable addictions we’ve baptized as “just being busy” or dismissed as “that’s just my personality.”

Consider these hidden struggles: approval-seeking, workaholism, entertainment consumption, food, social media, gambling, and the relentless need to control everything around us. These can be just as destructive as drugs and alcohol, yet we rarely acknowledge them as spiritual battles.

Redefining Addiction

The simplest definition of addiction is this: anything that takes the place of where God should be sitting on your heart. It’s an idol that we’ve placed on the throne instead of Jesus.

As Jesus said in John 8:34, “Everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin.” Notice He didn’t say “everyone who practices addiction is a slave to addiction.” Biblically speaking, addiction is sin. It’s slavery—when something has so much control over us that we have no choice but to obey its demands.

The prophet Jeremiah captured this perfectly: “My people have committed two evils: They have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that cannot hold water” (Jeremiah 2:13). Addiction is drinking from a well with a broken system, trying desperately to fill a God-sized hole with things that will never satisfy.

Understanding the Roots

Here’s what many churches miss: addiction is often a symptom of a deeper wound.

One recovering addict shared his story of using methamphetamine, alcohol, marijuana, and pornography for years, thinking those substances were his core problem. But through ministry and recovery work, he discovered the real root: growing up with an alcoholic father who was verbally abusive, being raised primarily by women who loved him but didn’t know how to model healthy masculinity. The drugs and alcohol weren’t the problem—they were his solution to deep emotional pain.

Addiction typically has three types of drivers:

Emotional drivers: loneliness, shame, fear, and rejection. Tragically, these are often the very feelings people experience in church when they’re struggling.

Spiritual drivers: attempting to fill the void that only God can satisfy, seeking life and purpose apart from God’s plan.

Relational drivers: unhealed wounds from broken relationships, often dating back to childhood.

Think of it like drinking salt water. It looks like it could quench your thirst, but the more you drink, the thirstier you become. That’s what chasing addiction feels like—it pretends to satisfy while destroying you from the inside out.

The Gospel’s Chain-Breaking Power

Here’s the good news that should make every church service feel like a celebration: the gospel has chain-breaking power.

Galatians 5:1 declares, “For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery.” This isn’t just poetic language—it’s a promise with three dimensions:

1. Jesus forgives our past. Romans 8:1 says there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. None whatsoever.
2. Jesus changes our hearts. Ezekiel 36:26 promises a new heart and a new spirit. Real transformation starts from the inside out—it’s an inside job. You can put a dress on a pig, but it’s still a pig.
3. Jesus gives us the Holy Spirit’s power. Acts 1:8 promises power to live differently, not by the world’s standards but by God’s.

Some people are delivered instantly—God has the power to snap His fingers and free someone immediately. Others walk out this process daily. But in both cases, it’s Jesus who does the freeing. Not the pastor. Not a program. Not willpower. Jesus.

What Walking in Freedom Looks Like

James 5:16 provides the blueprint: “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed.”

This is often the hardest part. If you’re coming out of addiction, who can you trust? The fear of judgment and condemnation is real. But if we truly believe Romans 8:1—that there’s no condemnation in Christ—then we must create spaces where people can trust the church community.

Here’s the practical pathway to freedom:

Confess it to God. Stop hiding. First John 1:9 says it all—God is faithful to forgive.

Confess it to others. Find a safe group of godly people. Proverbs 27:17 reminds us that iron sharpens iron.

Replace lies with truth. Renew your mind. Romans 12:2 calls us not to conform to the pattern of this world but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. It all starts in our thinking.

Build guardrails. These aren’t rules—people in recovery often hate rules. Think of them as guidelines that keep you on the road, preventing you from driving off the cliff.

Join a recovery community. Programs like Regeneration or Celebrate Recovery provide the boat where people won’t let you fall out.

Stay surrendered daily. Freedom is maintained only through daily dependence on Jesus Christ.

Think of it like pulling weeds. If you pull out a weed but leave the roots, it will come back. Freedom means dealing with the roots and planting something new in their place. When you take the hard, painful step of digging into the groundwork of your life and pulling out those deep roots, that’s when real healing begins.

The Church’s Critical Role

Jude 22-23 gives us our marching orders: “Have mercy on those who doubt. Save others by snatching them out of the fire. To others show mercy with fear.”

What does this mean practically for our churches?

Be a safe place. Create an environment free from gossip and judgment where people can tell their story and be themselves. The church should be a front-door ministry, not a side-door where people have to sneak in to fit in. The church is not a showcase for saints—it’s a hospital for sinners.

Don’t shame, shepherd. Jesus came to save, not to condemn (John 3:17). When someone shares their struggle, respond with compassion, not judgment.

Equip and disciple. Freedom flourishes in long-term discipleship, not just a one-time prayer. Instead of “Let me pray for you” and sending someone down the road, try “Let me pray for you, here’s my number, let’s have coffee sometime.”

Be ready for mess. People are messy. Ministry is messy. We’re dealing with broken people—and that includes all of us. We are not called to be comfortable. We are called to be Christlike.

The Invitation

If you’re struggling today with any addiction—visible or hidden—know this: Jesus is not standing over you with crossed arms in disappointment. He’s reaching His hands out to you with love, and He has the power to set you free.

Your role is to link arms with others in the fight. They will fight for you in prayer, walk with you, remind you of truth, and hold you accountable.

If you’re struggling, don’t wait. Talk to a leader. Don’t give the deceiver one more foothold in your mind. Do the exact opposite of what shame tells you to do—step into the light.

And if you’ve been set free? Be a chain breaker for somebody else. The ultimate chain breaker is Jesus Christ, but you can link arms with Him and help set others free through your testimony. It can be as simple as three statements: three words about your life before Christ, three words about how Christ changed you, and how your life looks today with Christ.

The truth is simple but profound: the church should be the emergency room, not just the triage. It should be where wounded, broken people—all of us—find healing, hope, and the freedom that only Jesus can provide.

Will we be that church?

Listen to Brett’s presentation on our YouTube channel; more Addiction & The Church resources are available here on our website.

Making Space for the Prodigal to Come Home

Scott Breedlove, MS, CPS, CRPR, MARS, holds a Master of Science Degree in Addiction Studies from the University of South Dakota and has over 19 years of experience working with clients and serving in various roles including peer, counselor, supervisor, director and trainer. Scott currently serves as the President of Landmark Recovery and Senior Pastor of Landmark Church. He is a frequent recovery conference speaker and is thankful for 32 years of personal long-term recovery. This post about the critical role of forgiveness is compiled from excerpts of Scott’s presentation during the Heartland Recovery “Addiction & The Church” 2025 event.

When people struggling with addiction think about walking through church doors, many of them carry a conviction that’s both heartbreaking and revealing: “If I walked into your building, the roof would cave in.”

I’ve heard this statement countless times while inviting people to church. They say it with complete sincerity, truly believing they’re too far gone, too broken, too stained by their past choices to be welcome in God’s house. And when we hear this, we in the church need to ask ourselves an uncomfortable question: What have we done to make people feel this way?

Redefining Recovery Through a Kingdom Lens

The federal government’s Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration defines recovery as “a process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.” It’s a solid definition, but as followers of Christ, we can take it deeper.

What if we reimagined this definition with kingdom language? Recovery becomes:

• A process of becoming whole (not just improving health)
• Living a God-directed life (not a self-directed one)
• Fulfilling the calling Christ has for us (not just reaching our potential)

Here’s the crucial insight: unforgiveness will shut down all three of these goals. We cannot become whole, live a God-directed life, or fulfill our calling when unforgiveness festers in our hearts—whether it’s unforgiveness toward others or toward ourselves.

Understanding Recovery as a Journey, Not an Event

After 33 years of walking this road, I can tell you my last use date: September 17th, 1992. I can tell you my one-year anniversary. But I can’t tell you my “recovery date” because recovery isn’t an event—it’s a process I’m still living out.

Just like I can tell you my baptism date but Christianity is something I’m striving to live every single day, recovery is an ongoing journey. The Apostle Paul captured this struggle beautifully in Romans 7, describing how he does what he doesn’t want to do and struggles to do what he should. Even the man who wrote most of the New Testament wrestled with this tension.

But here’s the hope: Romans 8:1 declares, “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus.”

The Difference Between Condemnation and Conviction

I recently had lunch with a man who came to our church—a registered sex offender. No other church in town would welcome him. He told me, “Pastor, I feel like God has been beating me up all week. I hear these voices and I don’t know if it’s me, my guilt, or God.”

This opened my eyes to something critical: We must help people distinguish between condemnation and conviction.

Condemnation confronts us with our wrong and stops there. It offers no hope, just shame and despair.

Conviction from the Holy Spirit also confronts what we’re doing wrong, but it points us toward the cross, toward the blood, toward hope that God can help us change.

We’re not in the business of condemnation. We’re in the business of conviction that leads to transformation.

The Prodigal Son: A Blueprint for Church Response

Jesus gave us the perfect picture in Luke 15. The prodigal son wasted his inheritance in riotous living—what we’d now call a substance use disorder. He hit rock bottom in a pig pen and came to himself, convinced he was “no more worthy to be called a son.”

Sound familiar? It’s the same mindset as “the roof would cave in.”

When he returned home and confessed his sin, his father didn’t lecture him or put him on probation. He ran to him, kissed him, and immediately restored him—best robe, ring, shoes, fattened calf, celebration.

This is confession met with immediate restoration.

But notice who ended up on the outside looking in when the story ended. Not the prodigal who had been sleeping around and using substances. He was back, restored, celebrating. The one standing outside was the older brother—the one who couldn’t forgive.

If you want to be on the outside looking in, let unforgiveness get a hold of your heart.

The question for the church today is simple: Can the prodigal come home to your church? Are we the father running with open arms, or are we the older brother standing outside, judging and refusing to forgive?

The Reality of Consequences Within Forgiveness

Let’s be clear: forgiveness doesn’t mean there are no consequences. David’s story in 2 Samuel 12 illustrates this powerfully.

After David committed adultery with Bathsheba and had her husband killed, the prophet Nathan confronted him. David immediately confessed: “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan’s response? “The Lord has put away your sin. You shall not die.”

David was forgiven immediately. But there were still consequences—the child would die, and his actions gave occasion for God’s enemies to blaspheme.

In our churches, we’ve seen people forgiven by God who still went to prison for their crimes. We’ve seen people restored to fellowship who still live with diseases contracted during their time in addiction. Forgiveness doesn’t erase all earthly consequences, but it does restore relationship with God and with the church.

The key difference between David and King Saul reveals something crucial: When confronted, Saul always made excuses. David always admitted his sin. Even though David’s sins—adultery and murder—were arguably worse than Saul’s, David was called “a man after God’s own heart” because he owned his failures and genuinely repented.

The Church Must Be in the Forgiving Business

Here’s something that should challenge us: I tell our youth to wait until marriage to have sex. When I say this publicly, people sometimes laugh at me. But I also tell them, “If you do mess up and have sex, I want you right back at church on Sunday.”

Something is deeply wrong if young people feel safer running to worldly friends when they mess up than coming to the church.

Consider Absalom, David’s son. After he returned from exile, he lived in the kingdom but didn’t see his father’s face for two years. Finally, in frustration, Absalom said, “What was the point of coming back if I can’t have relationship with my father? I was better off where I was.”

When people return to the church, if we don’t forgive and restore them, what’s the point of them coming back?

I recently wrestled with this when leaders in my church had a significant moral failure. How long should I “sit them down” before letting them serve again? A mentor asked me: “Do you believe they sincerely confessed? Do you believe they truly repented? Do you believe God has forgiven them? Then how long are you going to hold them accountable for something God has already forgiven?”

This is the question every church must answer.

Living in the Power of Forgiveness

Psalm 51 should be our daily prayer: “Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away. Restore unto me the joy of salvation.”

David concludes this psalm with a promise: “Then I will teach transgressors your ways and sinners will be converted.” In other words: God, get me right, and then I’ll be ready to help others get right.

If we don’t forgive ourselves or others, we’re claiming to be more powerful than the blood of Christ, more powerful than mercy, more powerful than grace. I don’t want to be that powerful.

The Truth About Deserving Forgiveness

Someone might say, “But Scott, I don’t deserve forgiveness” or “That person doesn’t deserve forgiveness.”

My answer? Awesome. You finally get it.

None of us deserve forgiveness. But it’s not about what we deserve—it’s about what He does. It’s about His mercy, His grace, His blood shed for the ungodly.

The world is living under a crushing weight of guilt and shame. You can see it in people’s eyes at Walmart, on the street, everywhere you go. Our churches must be places where that weight can be lifted, where confession is met with restoration, where the prodigal can truly come home.

Recovery is a process, and forgiveness—both receiving it and extending it—is absolutely essential to that process. Without it, people cannot become whole, cannot live God-directed lives, and cannot fulfill their calling.

So let’s make sure that when someone says, “If I walked into your church, the roof would cave in,” we can confidently respond: “Come and see. The roof will stand, the doors are open, and we’re ready to celebrate your return.”

Because that’s what the Father does. And we must do the same.

Listen to Scott Breedlove’s teaching about The Power of Forgiveness in this session of Addiction & The Church. The full series is available on our YouTube channel, or find the link to other resources here on our website.

Reflections following an “Addiction and the Church” seminar by Dave Evans, LPC, at Heartland Recovery Program.

The statistics are staggering: 46% of people have friends or family affected by drugs and alcohol, with some estimates suggesting that number climbs to 50% when considering the broader scope of addiction’s impact. These aren’t just numbers—they represent real people, real families, and real pain touching every corner of our communities. At a seminar hosted by Heartland Recovery Program, church leaders and community members gathered to address a critical question: How can the church better support those struggling with addiction?

The Church as a Safe Harbor

Pastor Dave Evans, with nearly 40 years of pastoral experience and 28 years as a substance abuse counselor, opened the seminar with a powerful truth: “Sometimes failing needs a safe place to fail.” His words cut through the typical church platitudes to reveal what many struggling with addiction desperately need—not judgment, but sanctuary.

Drawing from John 3:16-17, Pastor Evans reminded attendees that God didn’t send His son to condemn the world, but to save it. “There’s no condemnation for those in recovery,” he emphasized, challenging churches to move beyond stigma toward radical acceptance. This isn’t about enabling destructive behavior; it’s about creating an environment where healing can begin.

The concept of the church as a “safe place to fail” is revolutionary. Recovery isn’t a linear process—it’s cyclical, messy, and often marked by setbacks. When churches understand this reality, they can provide the consistent love and support that makes genuine transformation possible.

Understanding the Enemy: The Nature of Addiction

To effectively minister to those struggling with addiction, we must first understand what we’re dealing with. “Addiction is a desire to use a substance or behavior to the extent that instead of a person controlling the addiction, the addiction controls the person,” Evans explained. This loss of control isn’t a moral failing—it’s a biological reality. Substances create chemical dependencies that replace natural brain chemistry, leading to tolerance, cravings, and ultimately, a cycle of destruction.

The physical toll is evident: lifelong addiction can age a person by an estimated 15 years. But the spiritual and emotional damage runs even deeper. Addiction creates barriers to spiritual life, replacing our relationship with God with artificial substitutes that promise fulfillment but deliver emptiness.

The Stages of Transformation

Recovery follows a predictable pattern that churches can learn to recognize and support:

1. Denial and Conviction

The journey begins when denial breaks down—often through what Pastor Evans called “the Holy Spirit’s intervention.” This conviction creates an internal struggle that can no longer be ignored. Churches can support this stage by providing non-judgmental spaces where individuals can begin to acknowledge their struggles.

• Crisis and Humility

Most people entering recovery programs are in crisis—coming out of prison, broken relationships, or rock-bottom experiences. This humility creates an opening for change. Churches can be ready to meet people in these crisis moments with immediate, practical support.

• Overcoming Through Christ

The pastoral opportunity lies in showing how people can overcome through Jesus Christ. This isn’t about quick fixes or simple prayers—it’s about providing hope, support, and practical tools for daily living. Churches must be prepared to walk alongside people through the difficult process of recovery.

• Identification and Maintenance

As individuals progress, they begin to identify more with Christ than with their addicted past. This new identity must be nurtured through consistent discipleship, community involvement, and ongoing spiritual formation.

The Cost of Inaction

The seminar highlighted the staggering cost of failing to address addiction effectively. Prisons are full, treatment centers are overwhelmed, and taxpayers bear the financial burden. But beyond the economic impact lies a more profound cost—the waste of human potential and the perpetuation of generational trauma.

“There are no throwaways in God’s world,” Pastor Evans declared. Even those who have committed crimes under the influence, even those society has written off, retain their inherent dignity and potential for transformation. The church’s role is to see what others cannot—the possibility of redemption in every person.

Practical Steps for Churches

Based on the seminar’s insights, here are concrete ways churches can better serve those struggling with addiction:

Create Welcoming Environments. Move beyond surface-level hospitality to genuine acceptance. This means training church members to interact with people from all backgrounds without judgment or condescension. Simple gestures—a handshake, a pat on the back, genuine interest in someone’s well-being—can communicate worth and belonging.

Understand the Process. Educate church leadership about the nature of addiction and recovery. This isn’t about becoming medical experts, but about developing realistic expectations and appropriate responses. Recovery is a process, not an event, and churches must be prepared for the long haul.

Provide Practical Support. People in recovery need more than spiritual encouragement—they need practical help with housing, employment, transportation, and basic life skills. Churches can partner with recovery programs and social services to address these fundamental needs.

Offer Discipleship, Not Just Salvation. Leading someone to faith is just the beginning. People in recovery need intensive discipleship that addresses their specific challenges and vulnerabilities. This might include small groups focused on recovery, mentorship programs, and ongoing accountability relationships.

Address Cross-Addiction. Recovery from substance abuse doesn’t automatically prevent other compulsive behaviors. Churches must be aware of the tendency toward cross-addiction and provide holistic spiritual formation that addresses the underlying spiritual needs that substances once filled.

The Unique Opportunity

Perhaps most importantly, the seminar revealed a unique opportunity for churches. People who have been “broken by addictions” often develop a special relationship with Jesus Christ. Their brokenness creates an openness to spiritual truth that others might not possess. Their recovery testimonies become powerful tools for reaching others who are struggling.

When churches learn to see addiction not as a moral failure but as a spiritual opportunity, they can become agents of transformation in their communities. This requires moving beyond the comfortable boundaries of traditional church programming to embrace the messy, complicated, but ultimately redemptive work of walking with people through their darkest valleys.

A Call to Action

The seminar concluded with a powerful reminder: “When the pain becomes greater than the desire to use, substances are able to stop being used.” The church’s role is to provide hope that is greater than the pain, community that is stronger than isolation, and purpose that is more compelling than any artificial high.

This isn’t easy work. It requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to be present with people in their struggles. But for churches willing to embrace this calling, the rewards are immeasurable—not just in terms of lives transformed, but in the authentic community that emerges when people are free to be real about their struggles and victories.

The challenge before us is clear: Will we be churches that simply hope hurting people find their way to us, or will we be churches that actively pursue those who are suffering, meeting them where they are with the love and grace of Christ?

The statistics tell us that addiction touches every congregation, whether acknowledged or not. The question isn’t whether we’ll encounter people struggling with addiction—it’s whether we’ll be prepared to love them well when we do. The time for preparation is now, because transformation is possible, hope is available, and as Pastor Evans reminded us, “There are no throwaways in God’s world.”

In a society that often discards the broken, the church has the opportunity to be different—to be a place where the lost can be found, and where the power of Christ can break even the strongest chains of addiction. The only question is whether we’ll answer the call.

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Listen to Dave Evans’ teaching about Addiction Awareness in this opening session of Addiction & The Church. The full series is available on our YouTube channel, or find the link to other resources here on our website.

The following insights come from an “Addiction & The Church” presentation by Adrienne Miller, a certified reciprocal alcohol and drug counselor with 18+ years of experience at Heartland Women’s Recovery Program.

When we think about recovery, we often picture a neat, linear progression—a straight path from struggle to victory. But the reality of discipleship and addiction looks nothing like our idealized expectations. Instead of a smooth upward trajectory, recovery resembles something more like Mount Doom from Lord of the Rings: treacherous, unpredictable, and requiring immense courage to navigate.

The truth is, addiction recovery is a battle—not just for those struggling with substance use, but for everyone walking alongside them in their journey. As church leaders and discipleship partners, we must prepare ourselves for this reality while holding onto the hope that God is the ultimate victor in this fight.

Your Process, Their Process

One of the most important truths to grasp about discipleship and addiction is this: it’s as much about your process as it is about your disciple’s process. Just like in parenting or marriage, much of effective discipleship comes down to how we respond to challenging situations.

I learned this firsthand early in my marriage to Scott, who had struggled with addiction for about 10 years before coming to Heartland. One day, he casually mentioned having an urge to use drugs and went for a walk—something unusual for him at the time. My mind immediately spiraled into anxiety, and I texted someone expressing my worry about Scott.

When he returned and discovered I had reached out to others, Scott said something that stopped me in my tracks: “If I can’t trust you to tell you when I’m struggling, I’m going to need to figure out who else I can trust.”

That evening, God convicted me with this truth: I was the one who had relapsed. I had returned to my old patterns of extreme anxiety and fear, while Scott had done exactly what he was supposed to do—communicate honestly about his struggles.

This experience taught me that even those of us without substance use backgrounds have plenty of issues that mirror the addiction mindset. Finding these parallels in your own life will help you relate more effectively to people struggling with addiction.

Setting Realistic Expectations

Scripture reminds us in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 that redemption is possible for everyone: “And some of you used to be like this, but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” This hope must anchor our work, even as we maintain realistic expectations.

The Reality of Recovery:

• Addiction is complex, typically requiring 5-7 attempts before achieving long-term sobriety
• Many people entering recovery programs are on their 12th or 14th attempt
• Setbacks are part of the process, not indicators of failure

Essential Elements for Sustainable Support:

1. Celebrate Progress. Find meaningful ways to acknowledge milestones. Just as AA gives tokens for sobriety milestones, we should celebrate when someone follows through on job hunting, maintains housing, or reaches any recovery goal. Celebration might be as simple as a pat on the back or taking someone out for dinner—discover what feels meaningful to your disciple.

2. Prepare for Setbacks. Unless your disciple truly owns their recovery decisions, lasting change won’t occur. Sometimes you must step back and allow people to face the natural consequences of their choices. This develops the crucial connection between decisions and outcomes.

3. Encourage Independence. Your goal isn’t to become the permanent answer person for your disciple. While it might feel rewarding initially, lasting help comes from equipping people with tools and resources to make healthy decisions independently. Remember: your objective is to raise up disciples who can eventually disciple others.

Establishing Healthy Boundaries

Clear boundaries protect both you and your disciple while creating a framework for sustainable support.

Key Boundary Considerations:

• Availability: Will you give out your cell phone number? Establish clear communication preferences upfront
• Location: Decide where you’ll meet—homes, public spaces, or church facilities
• Scope: Recognize your limits. If someone displays mental health symptoms beyond your training, connect them with professional counselors
• Accountability: If you’re working with someone of the opposite sex, establish appropriate safeguards

Financial Boundaries. It’s generally inadvisable to give cash directly to someone struggling with addiction. Instead, get creative with financial assistance:

• Offer to watch children during job interviews or work
• Take your disciple grocery shopping and teach meal planning
• Make direct payments to bills or utilities
• Utilize your church’s benevolence fund with pre-established guidelines

The Power of Active Listening

If I could emphasize one skill above all others for effective discipleship with people in recovery, it would be active listening. This skill can make or break your ability to build trust and create lasting impact.

Understanding Shame’s Role. Shame inevitably accompanies addiction. I’ve never met someone who struggled with substance use who felt proud of their behavior while using. When your disciple shares their story, especially early in your relationship, be extremely mindful of your facial reactions and body language.

People are constantly evaluating whether they can trust you with their truth. If they share something relatively minor and you flinch, show shock, or display any form of rejection, they’ll likely conclude you’re not the right person to walk with them through recovery.

Creating Safe Communication. Sometimes people literally struggle to vocalize their experiences. I’ve had residents sit in my office with their heads down, eyes closed, shaking their heads while trying to find words for their shame. In these moments:

• Be patient and give them time
• Consider saying, “If you’re not ready to talk about this, we don’t have to do this right now”
• Maintain appropriate eye contact while being sensitive to their comfort level
• Consider alternative communication methods like journaling or artistic expression

As Mr. Rogers wisely said: “Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.”

Practical Listening Techniques:

• Put phones down and eliminate distractions
• Use nonverbal encouragement appropriately
• Practice deferred judgment—wait your turn to speak
• Ask clarifying questions about your role: “Are you looking for advice, another perspective, or just a sounding board?”
• Take their experiences at face value, especially during initial sharing
• Respond with respect and empathy
• Ask open-ended questions like “Tell me about your day” instead of “How was your day?”

Building Spiritual Foundation

While many spiritual disciplines are important, focus particularly on prayer and Bible reading as foundational elements.

Prayer Partnership:

• Ask your disciple to pray for you—this creates mutual vulnerability and shows their value
• Lead prayers using simple, honest language rather than “Christianese”
• Model that approaching God doesn’t require fancy words or perfect circumstances

Bible Study Focus:

• Emphasize stories of people who made mistakes and found redemption
• Study dramatic conversion stories like Rahab’s transformation from prostitute to honored ancestor of Jesus
• Share Bible reading plans or do studies together to maintain connection
• Help them see that biblical characters faced real struggles they can relate to

Creating Resource Centers

Equip your church with readily accessible resources so disciples can find information independently:

• Lists of local AA/NA meetings
• Contact information for counselors and doctors
• Information about insurance applications and social services
• Recovery-focused books and pamphlets
• Educational materials about addiction and recovery

The Battle Worth Fighting

Discipleship in the context of addiction is warfare, but we know who wins in the end. This work will challenge you, change you, and likely follow you home some days. But when we allow people to share their shameful experiences in an atmosphere of safety and acceptance, shame loses its power. That’s when we can begin tugging on the rope that draws them closer to Jesus.

Remember that recovery rarely looks like our expectations, but redemption is always possible. Your role isn’t to have all the answers—it’s to walk faithfully alongside someone as they discover their own path to freedom in Christ.

As you consider implementing addiction-focused ministries in your church, start with these foundational elements. The battle is real, but so is the victory available through Jesus Christ. With proper boundaries, realistic expectations, and genuine love, you can be part of someone’s transformation story.

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For more information about training opportunities and resources for churches interested in addiction ministry, contact Heartland Recovery. We’re committed to equipping local churches with the tools and knowledge needed to effectively support people struggling with addiction.

Find the link to other “Addiction & The Church” 2024 sessions here on our website or on our YouTube page.