Making Space for the Prodigal to Come Home
Scott Breedlove, MS, CPS, CRPR, MARS, holds a Master of Science Degree in Addiction Studies from the University of South Dakota and has over 19 years of experience working with clients and serving in various roles including peer, counselor, supervisor, director and trainer. Scott currently serves as the President of Landmark Recovery and Senior Pastor of Landmark Church. He is a frequent recovery conference speaker and is thankful for 32 years of personal long-term recovery. This post about the critical role of forgiveness is compiled from excerpts of Scott’s presentation during the Heartland Recovery “Addiction & The Church” 2025 event.
When people struggling with addiction think about walking through church doors, many of them carry a conviction that’s both heartbreaking and revealing: “If I walked into your building, the roof would cave in.”
I’ve heard this statement countless times while inviting people to church. They say it with complete sincerity, truly believing they’re too far gone, too broken, too stained by their past choices to be welcome in God’s house. And when we hear this, we in the church need to ask ourselves an uncomfortable question: What have we done to make people feel this way?
Redefining Recovery Through a Kingdom Lens
The federal government’s Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration defines recovery as “a process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.” It’s a solid definition, but as followers of Christ, we can take it deeper.
What if we reimagined this definition with kingdom language? Recovery becomes:
- A process of becoming whole (not just improving health)
- Living a God-directed life (not a self-directed one)
- Fulfilling the calling Christ has for us (not just reaching our potential)
Here’s the crucial insight: unforgiveness will shut down all three of these goals. We cannot become whole, live a God-directed life, or fulfill our calling when unforgiveness festers in our hearts—whether it’s unforgiveness toward others or toward ourselves.
Understanding Recovery as a Journey, Not an Event
After 33 years of walking this road, I can tell you my last use date: September 17th, 1992. I can tell you my one-year anniversary. But I can’t tell you my “recovery date” because recovery isn’t an event—it’s a process I’m still living out.
Just like I can tell you my baptism date but Christianity is something I’m striving to live every single day, recovery is an ongoing journey. The Apostle Paul captured this struggle beautifully in Romans 7, describing how he does what he doesn’t want to do and struggles to do what he should. Even the man who wrote most of the New Testament wrestled with this tension.
But here’s the hope: Romans 8:1 declares, “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus.”
The Difference Between Condemnation and Conviction
I recently had lunch with a man who came to our church—a registered sex offender. No other church in town would welcome him. He told me, “Pastor, I feel like God has been beating me up all week. I hear these voices and I don’t know if it’s me, my guilt, or God.”
This opened my eyes to something critical: We must help people distinguish between condemnation and conviction.
Condemnation confronts us with our wrong and stops there. It offers no hope, just shame and despair.
Conviction from the Holy Spirit also confronts what we’re doing wrong, but it points us toward the cross, toward the blood, toward hope that God can help us change.
We’re not in the business of condemnation. We’re in the business of conviction that leads to transformation.
The Prodigal Son: A Blueprint for Church Response
Jesus gave us the perfect picture in Luke 15. The prodigal son wasted his inheritance in riotous living—what we’d now call a substance use disorder. He hit rock bottom in a pig pen and came to himself, convinced he was “no more worthy to be called a son.”
Sound familiar? It’s the same mindset as “the roof would cave in.”
When he returned home and confessed his sin, his father didn’t lecture him or put him on probation. He ran to him, kissed him, and immediately restored him—best robe, ring, shoes, fattened calf, celebration.
This is confession met with immediate restoration.
But notice who ended up on the outside looking in when the story ended. Not the prodigal who had been sleeping around and using substances. He was back, restored, celebrating. The one standing outside was the older brother—the one who couldn’t forgive.
If you want to be on the outside looking in, let unforgiveness get a hold of your heart.
The question for the church today is simple: Can the prodigal come home to your church? Are we the father running with open arms, or are we the older brother standing outside, judging and refusing to forgive?
The Reality of Consequences Within Forgiveness
Let’s be clear: forgiveness doesn’t mean there are no consequences. David’s story in 2 Samuel 12 illustrates this powerfully.
After David committed adultery with Bathsheba and had her husband killed, the prophet Nathan confronted him. David immediately confessed: “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan’s response? “The Lord has put away your sin. You shall not die.”
David was forgiven immediately. But there were still consequences—the child would die, and his actions gave occasion for God’s enemies to blaspheme.
In our churches, we’ve seen people forgiven by God who still went to prison for their crimes. We’ve seen people restored to fellowship who still live with diseases contracted during their time in addiction. Forgiveness doesn’t erase all earthly consequences, but it does restore relationship with God and with the church.
The key difference between David and King Saul reveals something crucial: When confronted, Saul always made excuses. David always admitted his sin. Even though David’s sins—adultery and murder—were arguably worse than Saul’s, David was called “a man after God’s own heart” because he owned his failures and genuinely repented.
The Church Must Be in the Forgiving Business
Here’s something that should challenge us: I tell our youth to wait until marriage to have sex. When I say this publicly, people sometimes laugh at me. But I also tell them, “If you do mess up and have sex, I want you right back at church on Sunday.”
Something is deeply wrong if young people feel safer running to worldly friends when they mess up than coming to the church.
Consider Absalom, David’s son. After he returned from exile, he lived in the kingdom but didn’t see his father’s face for two years. Finally, in frustration, Absalom said, “What was the point of coming back if I can’t have relationship with my father? I was better off where I was.”
When people return to the church, if we don’t forgive and restore them, what’s the point of them coming back?
I recently wrestled with this when leaders in my church had a significant moral failure. How long should I “sit them down” before letting them serve again? A mentor asked me: “Do you believe they sincerely confessed? Do you believe they truly repented? Do you believe God has forgiven them? Then how long are you going to hold them accountable for something God has already forgiven?”
This is the question every church must answer.
Living in the Power of Forgiveness
Psalm 51 should be our daily prayer: “Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away. Restore unto me the joy of salvation.”
David concludes this psalm with a promise: “Then I will teach transgressors your ways and sinners will be converted.” In other words: God, get me right, and then I’ll be ready to help others get right.
If we don’t forgive ourselves or others, we’re claiming to be more powerful than the blood of Christ, more powerful than mercy, more powerful than grace. I don’t want to be that powerful.
The Truth About Deserving Forgiveness
Someone might say, “But Scott, I don’t deserve forgiveness” or “That person doesn’t deserve forgiveness.”
My answer? Awesome. You finally get it.
None of us deserve forgiveness. But it’s not about what we deserve—it’s about what He does. It’s about His mercy, His grace, His blood shed for the ungodly.
The world is living under a crushing weight of guilt and shame. You can see it in people’s eyes at Walmart, on the street, everywhere you go. Our churches must be places where that weight can be lifted, where confession is met with restoration, where the prodigal can truly come home.
Recovery is a process, and forgiveness—both receiving it and extending it—is absolutely essential to that process. Without it, people cannot become whole, cannot live God-directed lives, and cannot fulfill their calling.
So let’s make sure that when someone says, “If I walked into your church, the roof would cave in,” we can confidently respond: “Come and see. The roof will stand, the doors are open, and we’re ready to celebrate your return.”
Because that’s what the Father does. And we must do the same.
Listen to Scott Breedlove’s teaching about The Power of Forgiveness in this session of Addiction & The Church. The full series is available on our YouTube channel, or find the link to other resources here on our website.